Stream of conscious while shoveling snow tonight…
“Look at that guy shoveling his driveway, and look at that guy snow blowing his driveway, I kinda feel sorry for myself, isn’t this SAD, PEOPLE DRIVING BY STARING AT ME!?! Why is no one pulling over and giving me a hug or high five or a “you go girl?” I mean come on people, a little gesture goes a long way!
Ok, I need to get ahold of myself, let me use this time to pray and lift up my work for the prayers of others. I mean why am I complaining about this three-car driveway and corner lot, gosh I’m so ungrateful.
Wait, was that just snot that dripped into my mouth…like INSIDE my actual mouth?
I can’t even right now… I just said yesterday I would only eat a booger when hell freezes over… well look at that, it has, because this sure is hell and I’m hella COLD and I have now swallowed a very disgusting amount of my own snot!
Ok, time to pull it together, the kids are inside actually getting along and the Weight Watchers app totally counts shoveling as exercise and I’m pretty sure you burn calories while shivering, so it’s a win-win all around. I can feel the fat melting off… oh wait that’s just the snow that the wind has blown into my face, attached to my dripping SNOT, and ran down my face and neck, imitating fat to make me feel like I should be thinking positively.
This is what people don’t realize when they are like “oh your husband is military, well you have free healthcare and don’t pay taxes and don’t have a job and oh wait, what, you said he’s only gone for four months, oh you are so lucky, I have heard of spouses leaving for a year.. like seriously time will fly by.” And I’m like GUURRRLLLL, PLEASE… we pay for that health care in ways you couldn’t even imagine (and need it when you get an infection from ingesting too many of your own boogers), and we do pay taxes (blah), and I do have a job (like shoveling this damn snow) that doesn’t pay with money, and oh wait… hold your breath for 4 months and then let me know if that felt long or short to you… I’m sure it will fly by!
Ok, seriously Amanda, this endless conversation with yourself is exhausting (does mindless talking to yourself burn calories… I’ll check my WW app)…”
I shoveled that three inches of snow for almost two hours and this is about a 5-minute snapshot into my mind… I bet you need a glass of wine just as much as I do after reading this… thanks for sharing a little part of my evening with me… need to go kill all those booger germs with a glass of wine (I got that medical advice from my free military healthcare provider).
Cursing out Mother Nature but praising Our Blessed Mother,